Best Baby advice

Before my son was born I remember buying 80 large boxes of
diapers and having them stored in the closet of his room – ready for his arrival.  I thought I’d never have to buy another box
of them again.   I had no idea whether I had the right ones or
not.  In fact, I had no idea there was a
difference in diapers.  The only thing I
knew was I did not want to use cloth diapers.
It was at difficult thing, having to figure out was which diaper would
work best for his little bottom.

Not all diapers are created equal.  In fact, we found several that were a real disaster
and it didn’t seem to matter how much they cost.  It was about the way they were made and fit.

We tried brand names like Pampers, Huggies and Luvs as well
as store brands.  The Pampers were too
small, too slim cut for him.  The Huggies
gapped at the leg and that was really a mess.
But the Luvs seemed to be the best “fit” for us  (no pun intended) and the bonus was that
after we purchased the ten millionth box we got a free “Cookie
Monster” stuffed animal.  My baby
boy loved “Cookie!”  I still
have that little stuffed animal, even today.
Maybe one day I’ll have a grandchild to share him with.

Which diaper works for you little one?

Today’s good content comes in the form of sharing a story of my very own reality check. 

Yesterday was a particularly challenging day for me. It seemed that one thing after another was not going quite right. To top it all off, I didn’t get a chance to eat anything. It was a very long, exhausting and frustrating day. 

At 5:30 I decided I just needed to walk away from it all. I called my husband and said let’s go to Ruby Tuesdays for the salad bar which is usually a pretty good choice. 

As I began to fill my salad plate, a woman in the line ahead of me said she loved my skirt. I thanked her and told her I got it at SteinMart for a really good price.  She proceeded to tell me about how her husband loved a bargain. He was the one who went through the Sunday paper clipping all the coupons and finding all the best deals. As we continued to fill our plates from the salad bar she proceeded to tell me more. 

My husband took care of so many things for me like cutting the grass and making sure my car was in good running order, she said.   You could hear in her voice that something was wrong.  ”You see”  she said “my husband died 14 weeks ago and I’m trying to adjust to life without him and learn how to take care of all these thing myself now but it is so hard. “ 

 I don’t think it actually registered that she had just said 14 weeks ago. 

She told me she was an accountant. She has some very nice clients and co -workers who are supportive and wonderful to be around – but “I still miss him so much” she said. 

“I’m just 56 years old.  We were married 14 years. We had no children and I have no siblings. The nights are very long. “. She paused, looked down at the floor and took a deep breath.  I reached over and touched her hand. We said nothing more.  She smiled and walked away. 

I took 2 steps and stopped in my tracks. My eyes filled with tears and suddenly I realized that the terrible day that
I had was insignificant compared to the sadness this young lady had been feeling for 14 weeks. 

In a moment I realized that tomorrow my day would start over anew with all the possibilities of good things happening but her day would still be filled with loneliness and loss. 

This chance encounter did not make me forget my troubles it reminded me of my many blessings.  Tonight I will say a special prayer for her and everyone who is experiencing loss and loneliness and I will thank God for the chance meeting with this woman – who has reminded me to always count my blessings. 

Caroline is a middle child

Psychologists have a lot to say about the middle child, some good some not so good.  But any way you look at it the middle child is often simply “caught in the middle”.  Old enough to know better but too young for many things.

 Stereotypes about middle children are hardly flattering. They’re often described as confused underachievers, overshadowed by older and younger siblings, and overlooked by their parents. But in The Secret Power of Middle Children Catherine Salmon and Katrin Schumann argue that many middle-borns have hidden strengths and are agents of change in business, politics and science.

 ”If you think about it, parents have expectations for their children, and they often have very specific things that they want them to do or don’t want them to do. And so being under the focus of that can be a lot of pressure for kids. So that’s one negative of being, for example, a firstborn. There’s an awful lot of pressure on you from your parents in terms of what you’re going to achieve and what you’re not going to achieve.

“But there’s also a freedom that middle children have by virtue of not having those parental expectations on them. In a certain way they’re free to find out what they really are good at on their own time and in their own way, and then excel at that.”

 Salmon: “If you grow up in a family and the firstborn tends to have a certain amount of authority that’s given to them by the parents, and they’re physically larger, they tend to get what they want or get their way through physical force or the authority parents have given them. While for the last-born, as anyone who’s had to deal with a lot of last-borns often knows, they tend to whine to the parents or get very upset if they don’t get their way. And so that’s their particular strategy for working out what needs to be worked out.

“For the middle child, neither of those strategies are available. So they often get very good at negotiating, figuring out what the other person wants and needs, and then managing to get them what they want and what the middle child themselves want at the same time. And, of course, one of the things that middle children often want is peace and calm and quiet and for everybody to get along. And so those traits then serve them well when they leave the family and go on to form their own families, and in the workplace.”

 This month we had the privilege to photograph, 7 year old Caroline and she is a middle child 1 of 5 but in the middle just the same.  Two older and two younger.  Caroline was a pure joy to work with.

One of the special things about what we do is that we often get the opportunity to work with each child individually.  Therefore we sometime see a very different side of the child than the parents do during a session. 

 Caroline was very quiet, gentle, tender and co-operative.  She was tickled to be getting the “special treatment”.  We know exactly how to work with these children.  They want attention but not too much attention.  It can be a little uncomfortable for them to get too much attention directed at them too strongly.  So during the session we spent time talking to her about what she likes and whether her front teeth were about to come out yet (which was a concern of mom’s and partly why we did the session when we did).

 I believe every child has a unique spark within and if we take our time with them, it will be revealed in a most beautiful way.

 Thank you Caroline for spending the day with us.

 Tell us about your middle child…

Why families?  

I remember when I was a little girl, my mother owned her very own hair salon.  This was a rare thing for a woman back in the 60’s. My mother didn’t have the luxury of staying at home.  She was a single mom and it was a very different world than today. 

There were no daycare centers and most women were stay at home moms raising their children.  When my mother had to work (6 days and evenings a week) and I was not in school, she would bring me to her salon.  I learned so many things there.  I learned how to deal with people – all people, happy ones and unhappy ones.  I learn how to have a sympathetic ear is someone just needed to be heard.  I learned how to shampoo hair and sweep floors and take out trash.  Oh yes, it was no free ride of fun and games.  My mother made it a point of keep me busy and I was a welcomed addition to her business.  Even at the age of 8, I remember her customers asking for me to shampoo them and how they gave me a huge tip (usually 25 cents – which bought a lot back them) and I remember feeling important and useful in the world and “very grown up”.  I loved it.  Having the opportunity to just be near my mother was the best.

Occasionally today I see families working together in their business.  It touches my heart when the kids are young, just trying to help out.  When I see one who has grown up in the family business and managed to stay in the business – it makes me smile.

Years ago I met the Hobbs family.  they are wonderful photographers and friends in the Great Bridge area of Chesapeake.

One day I noticed a remarkable family working together – the McConnell’s from JoJacks Café from the Churchland section of Portsmouth.

Recently I met Drs. Jeff and Clay Weisberg, Father and son dentist from the Western Branch area of Portsmouth.  It was a sheer joy to see them together.

I’d like to share my observation of these three families with you in my next couple of blog posts.

In the meantime, tell me about your family business and how you manage to teach your kids and work together and how it is a blessing to you.   I can’t wait to hear your story.

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Lucky Sixpence

What does it all signify?

We’ve heard this at every wedding we’ve attended – aren’t you curious as to the meaning ?  We were.  So after a little research – here’s the answer.

Something Old – Signifies a sense of continuity, tradition and represents the link to the bride’s old life and her family.
Something New – Signifies the couple’s new beginning, new life together as well as their hope for the future.
Something Borrowed – Borrow something from a happily married friend or family. To wish you that your married life will mirror the happiness in her marriage, Brides can borrow Jewelry or a handkerchief from a family member or close friend.

Something Blue – Blue represents fidelity, love, and purity.
Lucky Sixpence in her shoe- Signifies wealth both financial wealth and a wealth of happiness and joy. This is an ancient custom to appease Diana, goddess of chastity and unmarried maidens, so that the bride could lose her virginity and bear children. A lucky sixpence in your shoe ensures a life of fortune. The sixpence first became known as a lucky coin then introduced by king Edward VI of England in 1551 and later became part of bridal wedding traditions in the Victorian era.

I’ve recently been looking at many beautiful wedding images and the latest trends in weddings and I’ve decided that, just like in my portrait work, that color truly speaks to me.  To highlight the blue shoe is a great way to start thinking about the something blue in your wedding. 

What is you favorite part of a wedding?

Swarovski crystal elements

Jeweled Line of Portraits

Cathy is always coming up with something new and exciting for her clients.  Recently she developed a “Jeweled line” of portraits that is beautiful and exclusive to her studio.

What is a “Jeweled line” portrait? After Cathy creates the portrait she personally handles all the artistic finishing including adding Swarovski Crystal Elements jewels to the surface of the canvas print. You really have to see it to appreciate it.  When the light in your home bounces off these crystals it is amazing.

It is handcrafted and customized portraits like this that has made Cathy’s photographic art as must have to all those looking for exquisite timeless personal art for the home.

We currently have two of these portraits on display at the studio.  Cathy would love to create a unique piece of art work for you.  Why not be the first in your circle of friends to have such a unique portrait in your home?  Give us a call to find out the details.  It’s very exciting and we know it is going to be a “must have” for every family in Tidewater.

Yes, I do them and I have an all female staff that assist with these sessions.  My boudoir sessions are very classic and elegant and sensous – something anyone would be proud to have of themselves if theyare thinking about having one of these sessions done.

It is an interesting phenomonon today.  Women come to me to do these sessions for many interesting reasons – but most of all just for themselves.  Many have accomplished something significant in their lives whether its weight loss, or turning a certain age, or meeting a particular goal in life or yes even divorce.  Most of the time however, it is a an affirmation of the beauty within and the woman they are.  I’ve seen many shapes and sizes but they all are beautiful and they love the work we do.

I do have a seperate website for our boudoir work but wanted to share this video with the visitors to my portrait website. 

Please do not watch this if you are offended by partial nudity or are very modest.  But if you’d like to see how boudoir sessions should be approached that is tasteful and beautiful – then click on the link and watch this beauty in action.

Click here for a recent session by B-Boudoir – a division of Cathy Benton Photography.