Getting those baby giggles

I love to hear a belly giggle from a baby.  It makes me smile.  I know you will too.

Your baby’s first smiles melted your heart — so prepare for more parental puddling now, as your baby learns to laugh out loud. Sometime between three and four months of age, she’ll likely add her first chuckles and giggles to her repertoire of vowel-sound coos. What will inspire that first outburst?

It could be anything from the sight of your face, or an older sibling’s goofy grin, to a favorite toy or a silly sound. While these early laughs and coos are delightful to watch, they’re rewarding for baby too — she loves hearing her own voice, and seeing others’ reactions. Plus, with each coo and goo she’s learning and practicing how to move her mouth and tongue to produce different sound effects.

You can encourage these interactions by talking with your baby often. Provide a stream of commentary: “Here’s a clean diaper so you’ll feel nice and dry. All done! Now I’m snapping your shirt — one, two, three snaps! — and pulling up your cozy red pants. Should we read a book next? How about this one with the bears taking a walk?” It may feel silly to chatter away to someone whose conversational skills are limited to a few vowel sounds and gurgles, but this is how she begins to learn language and laughter. And by pausing in your patter, you not only give her a chance to chime in and hear her own voice, you’re also teaching her the social skills she’ll need to be a polite preschooler and a gracious adult.

Fun and Games with you new Baby

Early Fun and Games with Baby

Wondering how to play with your wee one?

Here’s an itsy-bitsy refresher course. 

Now that your baby is nearing the three-month milestone, he’s spending more time awake and alert. As exciting as that is, that may also have you wondering how to occupy his time (“Hmm…now what? It’s playtime — but how do I play with this lovely little lump?”). Well, it’s time to dig out those dusty nursery rhymes and baby-game classics from the recesses of your mind. Oops…is your brain still in the thick of pregnancy fog? Here’s a refresher course on those fun games that have been delighting children for ages…

• This Little Piggy: Starting with the big toe, the pigs “went to market,” “stayed home,” “ate roast beef,” “had none,” and (the pinky toe; tickle all the way up his body with this one!) “cried wee, wee, wee, all the way home.”
• Eyes, Nose, Mouth: .Hold your baby’s hands and guide them to touch your own eyes, nose, and mouth, then give him a kiss: “Eyes, nose, mouth, smooch!”
• So Big: Again, start by holding your baby’s hands. Then ask, “How big is baby?” (better yet, use his name). Then spread his arms wide and answer, “Sooooo big!”

In addition to these games, your baby may enjoy watching shapes dangling from a mobile or baby gym, looking at himself in a mirror (choose a baby-safe, unbreakable one), or listening and gazing intently as you shake a rattle or roll a ball with a bell inside. And it’s never too early to sing or read to him — he’s very busy storing up sounds and words that he’ll need later as a talkative toddler.

We use many of these game techniques when we work with babies nearing the 3 month mark.  They are so expressive when they learn something new.  It just makes your heart melt.

Dealing with Seperation Anxiety

Whether it’s a few hours or a whole day,

your first time away from baby can be emotional.

Here’s how to cope.

You knew this moment would come — it’s time to be away from your baby for more than three whole minutes. Maybe you’re headed out for the evening (it’s okay — you’re allowed!) or taking an overnight trip. At the 10-week marker, any separation is likely to be tougher on you than it is on your gurgling little bundle. After all, he still likes just about everyone and is probably willing to yuk it up with anyone who’s willing to entertain him. It’s you who’ll probably need a pep talk (or maybe even a glass of vino!) at the thought of leaving him behind.

Whatever the reason for your departure, a little advance prep will go a long way toward reducing your separation jitters and making your absence as easy as possible on your baby. First, get used to the idea by leaving your baby with your husband for an hour or two a couple of times over the course of a few weeks so you (and the baby) get used to the fact that you leave…and come back. Once you see your little darling hasn’t fallen into a thousand pieces while you’re gone, you’ll feel a lot less anxious about leaving him again.

If your spouse can’t take over, try to choose a caregiver who knows the baby well (calling all grandparents!). At this age (2 to 3 months), being out of sight pretty much means being out of mind, so your baby will usually stop thinking about you and be quite content with any sitter who provides gentle, attentive care. Meanwhile, you’ll feel more confident staying away if you know your baby is with someone you trust completely (a first separation is no time to try out a new sitter). You’ll probably be less worried if your baby is kept at home, in a familiar environment (that you know has been thoroughly baby-proofed).  Request that your baby stick to his regular schedule; it’ll be less disruptive to him (and you’ll know exactly what he’s doing at any given moment).

Prepare a list of emergency numbers, including the pediatrician, plus your location and detailed contact information just in case your cell phone doesn’t work where you are. Also, have the sitter come over at least a half an hour before you need to leave to give you time to go over the schedule and explain any of the baby’s eccentricities (he must hear “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or he’ll never take his nap!). You can use the fill-in sections of The What to Expect Baby-Sitter’s Handbook to make sure you’ve covered everything. An early arrival also gives your baby and sitter time to warm up to each other and allows you a few minutes to feel okay about leaving the two of them to their own devices.

At zero hour, keep the farewells tear-free and short (you’ll have plenty of time to reconnect when you get back), but do say good-bye. And don’t attempt to shut out conflicting emotions (e.g., guilt, fear, relief) by blocking your baby from your mind while you’re gone. It’s fine to think of him, but try not to worry. Keep in mind that he’s in capable hands — check in if you want to, but once your sitter says that things are just fine, trust his or her word and don’t keep calling. Hey, a little independence (in the form of, say, dinner out with your husband) is healthy for you, and that will only benefit your baby in the long run.

The first time my husband and I went out without our son we went to a movie at The Commodore Theater in downtown Portsmouth.  I loved the idea that there was a telephone on the table.  I couldn’t use it to call out but just seeing it there gave me peace of mind for some reason. You just need a little comfort in your soul to make this a successful little get away.  When you return you baby will still be there ready to love you all over again.

Six Baby Cries to identify

Crying is your baby’s only means of communication.

 Trying to figure out what your baby is crying about can be one of the most frustrating things a new mother has to learn.  It doesn’t take long but it will seem like an eternity.

During our child sessions I usually can tell what is wrong with a little baby but trust me it comes fromyears of experience and years of being around babies.  When my sone was little, I struggled just as much as any new mother does.  I remember what a relief it was when i thought I finally figured it out.

Here are some notes to help you find out what your baby may be saying.

It’s too bad babies don’t come with instruction manuals. It would make parenting these early weeks a whole lot easier — wouldn’t it? Actually, your baby is trying to give you some subliminal clues to help out. Since she can’t tell you what she needs with words — “Hey, got a gas bubble over here!” — she relies on an array of whimpers, cries, and all-out screams to get your attention. You just have to crack the crying code to know what she’s saying. Here’s a cheat sheet to help clue you in:

• I’m hungry: Listen and look for a rhythmic, repetitive cry, combined with other signals such as rooting for the breast or sucking her fingers.
• I’m tired: You’ll hear a cry that starts slowly and builds in intensity and is accompanied by yawns or eye-rubs.
• I’m stressed out: Get ready for a fussy, whiny cry; she may try to turn her head or body away from over stimulating sights or sounds.
• I’ve got colic: You’ll likely know it by the intense screams, accompanied by fidgeting movements; often occurs in the late afternoon or evening.
• I’m in pain here: Listen for a loud, intense, out-of-the-ordinary cry that comes on suddenly (at a time or in a way that’s unusual for your baby).
• I’m not feeling so well: You’ll hear soft whimpers; usually very different from her normal cries.

A lot of trial and error and time with your baby may help you break her particular code (although some infants are quite inconsistent about their cries, thwarting your attempts to read them). Having a repetitive routine can also help. If your baby’s day falls into a pattern of feeding, then a period of alert play, followed by sleep, knowing where you are in the cycle can help you determine quickly what your little one needs. If she has a full belly and an empty diaper, she may be ready for a nap or need a cuddle.

Give Dad His Due

Co-Parenting:

Allowing Dad to Help with Baby

Letting your partner find his own way is part of the parenting process.

I know I was really guilty of thinking I was the only one who knew what to do for our son – even daddy couldn’t possible know what I knew right?  Wrong!  It was a big mistake and I hope to help you not make the same mistakes I did. 

When I finally broke down and let daddy help it was a relief to me and our son.  I was exhausted and I needed help. The real blessing was that daddy WANTED to help. I had no idea how glad I would be until I finally let him into our world.  We were all better for it.  Today, some of my fondest memories of my husband and our son together. I still remember seeing them sleeping together on the sofa (since they both were tuckered out) and I still laugh right out loud when I think of two diaper changes.  One my husband was sprinkled with the fountain of youth as the diaper came off and the cold air hit our baby boy and the other was the first time my husband had to change a really soiled diaper – oh that memory really makes me laugh.

Maybe you need a quality nap or you’re dying for a hot bath, or you just want to see a flick with a friend — sans baby. Who better to watch your critter for an hour — or the duration of an afternoon matinee — than the guy sleeping right next to you: Daddy! Even if he hasn’t had much experience in baby care (without you looking over his shoulder, at least), now’s the perfect time to help him get up to speed.

The first step toward getting Dad on duty? Ask him. It’s okay to acknowledge you need help or just a couple of hours to yourself. He may actually relish the chance to do things his own way (at least when it comes to changing a diaper).

The next step: Back off, Mama, and let Papa have some fun. Let him give the baby a bath or handle a few feedings (or if you’re nursing, ask him to put the baby to sleep). Welcome all questions but try to zip it on the backseat driving. Daddy may seem to have ten thumbs when it comes to wrestling junior into a onesie, but that’s just because he hasn’t had nearly as much practice as you. If you’re hypercritical or bossy, he might just decide to throw in the towel (and the diapers, bottles, and washcloths) and that’s not good for anyone involved, including the baby.

Hey, if your husband really wants to triple bag every poopy diaper, let him. In the past, the two of you have managed to mesh your differences (you’ve got that cute baby to show for it), and parenthood is no exception. Remind him (and yourself) that you’re new at this too — you learned by doing and so can he. Plus, change is good — a different style of playing (perhaps more physical or high-energy than your usual way) will stimulate your baby in new ways.

Keep in mind that your spouse is your partner, not your helper, and should be as fully involved in childrearing as possible (even if he’s the type to need a little shove to get going). You wouldn’t think of leaving him out of the big decisions and events that’ll shape your baby’s future, so why exclude him from the everyday stuff that also makes up your life as a family?