Dealing with Seperation Anxiety

 

 

Whether it’s a few hours or a whole day,

your first time away from baby can be emotional.

Here’s how to cope.

You knew this moment would come — it’s time to be away from your baby for more than three whole minutes. Maybe you’re headed out for the evening (it’s okay — you’re allowed!) or taking an overnight trip. At the 10-week marker, any separation is likely to be tougher on you than it is on your gurgling little bundle. After all, he still likes just about everyone and is probably willing to yuk it up with anyone who’s willing to entertain him. It’s you who’ll probably need a pep talk (or maybe even a glass of vino!) at the thought of leaving him behind.

Whatever the reason for your departure, a little advance prep will go a long way toward reducing your separation jitters and making your absence as easy as possible on your baby. First, get used to the idea by leaving your baby with your husband for an hour or two a couple of times over the course of a few weeks so you (and the baby) get used to the fact that you leave…and come back. Once you see your little darling hasn’t fallen into a thousand pieces while you’re gone, you’ll feel a lot less anxious about leaving him again.

If your spouse can’t take over, try to choose a caregiver who knows the baby well (calling all grandparents!). At this age (2 to 3 months), being out of sight pretty much means being out of mind, so your baby will usually stop thinking about you and be quite content with any sitter who provides gentle, attentive care. Meanwhile, you’ll feel more confident staying away if you know your baby is with someone you trust completely (a first separation is no time to try out a new sitter). You’ll probably be less worried if your baby is kept at home, in a familiar environment (that you know has been thoroughly baby-proofed).  Request that your baby stick to his regular schedule; it’ll be less disruptive to him (and you’ll know exactly what he’s doing at any given moment).

Prepare a list of emergency numbers, including the pediatrician, plus your location and detailed contact information just in case your cell phone doesn’t work where you are. Also, have the sitter come over at least a half an hour before you need to leave to give you time to go over the schedule and explain any of the baby’s eccentricities (he must hear “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or he’ll never take his nap!). You can use the fill-in sections of The What to Expect Baby-Sitter’s Handbook to make sure you’ve covered everything. An early arrival also gives your baby and sitter time to warm up to each other and allows you a few minutes to feel okay about leaving the two of them to their own devices.

At zero hour, keep the farewells tear-free and short (you’ll have plenty of time to reconnect when you get back), but do say good-bye. And don’t attempt to shut out conflicting emotions (e.g., guilt, fear, relief) by blocking your baby from your mind while you’re gone. It’s fine to think of him, but try not to worry. Keep in mind that he’s in capable hands — check in if you want to, but once your sitter says that things are just fine, trust his or her word and don’t keep calling. Hey, a little independence (in the form of, say, dinner out with your husband) is healthy for you, and that will only benefit your baby in the long run.

The first time my husband and I went out without our son we went to a movie at The Commodore Theater in downtown Portsmouth.  I loved the idea that there was a telephone on the table.  I couldn’t use it to call out but just seeing it there gave me peace of mind for some reason. You just need a little comfort in your soul to make this a successful little get away.  When you return you baby will still be there ready to love you all over again.

 

Pin It